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Solipsis

by JACKBOOT

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1.
Iʼve been following your clues around town for days now, You lure me in with your lucid smoke trails that lead me round decrepit corners, I steal glimpses of your hyacinth eyes in shop windows, Hear your dancing feet in every rhythmic gutter leak. I sift through the lesser ones, And there you are, trading lines in conversation While you trace lines in condensation On a wine glass that wears your red on itʼs lip. Later we sit among oblivious conversators My eyes shine with phosphene tricks And decipher your fluttering butterfly lashes. I reply in kind and We make our excuses and Hail a cab To my front door. It opens, I swing on my hinges As you pick your teeth with me. We ascend the stairs and I fumble for The dimmer switch. You know the rest.
2.
I feel full when Iʼm empty, Because itʼs control that feeds me When my stomach sounds I drown complaints away( With the water I carry with me at all times). And when people say I look too thin I smile. When people say I look too thin I smile.
3.
Come To Bed, Let's Forget. Midnight Tryst, You cling to my eyes and lips. I slip between slivered dreams, Where we thread each others fingers through the eyes of silver rings, We run through and through. Come To Bed, Let's Forget. Midnight Tryst, You cling to my eyes and lips. I almost fall in but for the tutting of a clock, A reminder of how much life I've thrown away to foolish things. Cursed, comforting darkness Alone with all the times you murdered kindness, So scared that you'll take anyone over someone won't you? But with a perfumed breeze and a peppering of quick kisses you lead me through and through and through... And our shadows waltz down the hall to the beat of bitter dreamlight as we come together in a white hot flash of working week forged longing... and.... in a stutter start voice I sing softly: Come To Bed, Let's Forget. Midnight Tryst, You cling to my eyes and lips.
4.
That first kiss, My love you gripped me too hard with your lips, Blushing capillaries burst, Blood rushes to mee the skin... The skin where your kiss had been I wore that kiss for so long, But your love it hurts me so. All the times I tried to leave you pulled me back, Devouring all that's good of me. You kiss me too much now my love, And you're not so careful about where you place them, My friends worry, my family say I don't call. Endophelin kicks in, Your kiss has faded to a bilverdin green, Blood cells break, like promises that pushed past your teeth, And shy away from the skin, The skin where your kiss had been. Now if I close my eyes, Press upon my shoulder, Just beneath the collar, Brushing stiff cotton, I can almost feel where your kiss was. A dull pain, strengthened with hemosiderin. I've left that behind now, I never whispered a word of you, but... There's a strength in silence, isn't there?
5.
I play tightrope Tentatively stepping along The length of your shadow. I don't like the path you tread, But it's yours nonetheless. Your four syllables lie languidly On my tongue, As inescapable as the last that we breathe. If ever you need me I'm here still, Trying to keep my footing. My eyeballs are full to the brim, I'm a mote of dust clinging static to your coat. We're two crows on a crooked branch, plotting murder. All the people down below will never see us Coming, we'll rain fire on those deserters, Splayed at all angles like a blunderbuss
6.
Candidate 03:31
Forced by the pressure, The territories marked, No longer the pleasure, Oh, I've since lost the heart. Corrupted from memory, No longer the power, It's creeping up slowly, That last fatal hour. Oh, I don't know what made me, What gave me the right, To mess with your values, And change wrong to right. Please keep your distance, The trail leads to here, There's blood on your fingers, Brought on by fear. I campaigned for nothing, I worked hard for this, I tried to get to you, You treat me like this. It's just second nature, It's what we've been shown, We're living by your rules, That's all that we know. I tried to get to you...
7.
The idle lines in the dust in those forgotten places, And the lurid smoke trails that lured the lesser ones in portent your arrival And those people wander in a daze, They cower behind closed doors Painted with the blood of their firstborns. And with salt filled pockets They board up their windows STILL MY SKIN CLINGS TO IT'S FRAME, BY THE MOST SUBTLE WORKS HELD TOGETHER The reel of images , Projected on my eyelids. Memory's betrayed by disposition. And every time I piece you together, you and I together I find we are completely different. The people emerge with jewel encrusted eyes. They pray for a rain to wash all the bad right out of town after you. I’ve been thinking of late, how soon love begets hate. STILL MY SKIN CLINGS TO IT'S FRAME, BY THE MOST SUBTLE WORKS HELD TOGETHER
8.
At 16 he came alive, And life grabbed him by the throat, Carving every victory into his face, Leaving a plane of aged lines. He was to me as god is to man, His sun blinded face looking kindly down As I clung to the fabric about his knees. Amidst lamps that bleed their sickly colour into the street We cry, And the windscreen wipers flick our tears out onto the pavement On the way to the hospital, after my head bled. I'm older now, As tears run down the cracks in his mask I see a man crouched in a life that's not his own, Altogether human. Now his wife won't look at him, And the glum hum of a train approaching Is far more appealing than the delight of a grandson.

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released August 21, 2013

The Brute
The Waif

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JACKBOOT Dorset, UK

DIY Ambient Alternative music from the South West. We make music and give it to you. It's all quite bleak. I hope you don't mind.

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